


The Best is Always Yet to Come

by jaicubed



Category: Youtubers
Genre: Death, Grethan, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 06:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15261483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaicubed/pseuds/jaicubed
Summary: There are no two people in the world as close as we are. No one can tell me otherwise.





	The Best is Always Yet to Come

**Author's Note:**

> The TV show "Supernatural" inspired a lot of the things in this story.
> 
> I also sobbed pretty much the entire time I was writing it.

When Grayson's eyes blinked open, Ethan was standing at the side of his bed looking very impatient. He wasn't wearing a watch, but he looked at his wrist dramatically anyway.

"Fuck, I thought you'd never wake up. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, I understand why you got so annoyed when I wouldn't get up in the mornings."

Grayson felt both extreme terror and extreme elation course through him, leaving him frozen, his eyes wide, his mouth opening and closing. Ethan snorted.

"You should see your face right now. Classic. Wish I had my phone." 

After a few minutes, Grayson was able to sit up slowly, his breathing starting to even out. Ethan looked more sympathetic than impatient now, and he sat on the edge of the bed next to Grayson. 

Grayson licked his lips, unable to look away from Ethan's face. He attempted to speak a few times, until he was finally able to manage two words. "Am...I...?"

Ethan held up his hand. "Please, save me the soap opera speech. No, you're not dead. No, this isn't heaven. You're asleep- that deep sleep you get into when you start snoring and annoying the fuck out of me. This is like, a super dream. I don't remember the actual word they used, but it was long and super dream is much better."

Grayson swallowed. He reached out a tentative hand, his heart beating so fast he thought it would explode, but when he tried to grasp Ethan's forearm, Ethan snatched it away with a tsk. 

"Just to be clear, though,  _I'm_  still dead. So you can't touch. Ruins the balance of the universe or something. I know that'll be hard for you, considering that I'm so fucking sexy. But please, restrain yourself." 

Grayson nodded dumbly. Hearing Ethan's voice, and seeing Ethan's face, after living for the past year on only photos, and videos, and the blurry images his brain conjured during his regular dreams... it was too much.

"Come on, Gray, you've cried enough already. This is supposed to be an encouraging, inspiring, motivational conversation we're going to have, and I don't have much time. It's not like I have anything else to do, you know, being dead and all, but they said I could only stay for a little bit. So listen." 

Ethan steepled his fingers under his chin. "I don't know how to say this delicately, Gray, but...you really need to pull yourself together."

Grayson looked at Ethan incredulously. "Are you actually serious? You want me to  _pull myself together_ after losing my best friend, my twin, _my soulmate..."_

"Did I stutter?" Ethan asked, cutting Grayson off. "Yes, you need to pull yourself together. Look, a year isn't that long, and you're still grieving, I get it. I was- excuse me, I  _am_ \- pretty amazing, after all. That's all normal, and it's not why I'm here."

Ethan nodded towards the bedside table, where several bottles of pills were lined up carefully in a row. "I'm here because apparently, I have to make sure you don't do stupid things even when I'm dead. Stupid things like killing yourself."

Grayson looked up at the ceiling, his vision blurred with tears. "But... I can't...not...not without you..."

"You  _can_ ," Ethan said sternly. "I know you can. Because it's not your time. Not by a long shot. You have a really long fucking life left to live. I don't know all the details, but I know that, at least."

"But it was  _your_  time?" Grayson asked softly. "It was your time, and you had to be taken away? When we...when we were so happy..."

Ethan rolled his eyes and sighed. "You always want explanations, don't you? Well, I was going to spare you this one, because I know you'll feel guilty even though it's not your fault, but maybe it's better if you knew."

Ethan got off the bed and walked towards the bedroom window, looking outside at the LA skyline. "Everyone knows the story of your very dramatic, very extra birth. Dying on the table and coming back to life, all that jazz."

He leaned against the wall and looked back to Gray, the side of his mouth quirked up. "Well, I don't know who stepped in and revived your dead ass- probably some fan girl angel or something- but in doing so...the whole timeline was fucked up. You're supposed to die when you're supposed to die. And when you don't die when you're supposed to, someone's gotta pick up the slack. Again, the balance of the universe shit."

"But...but why did you die, then..." Grayson fisted his blankets, his mouth clenched in anger. "I should have died."

"As far as I can tell, we were both living on borrowed time. It was going to one of us, sooner or later, seeing as how even Mother Nature can't tell us apart. I just happened to be the first one to do something stupid. Pretty on-brand, I guess." Ethan shrugged. "In any case, everything's fine now.  _My_  sacrifice stitched the fabric of the universe back together, no big deal. And you can show your appreciation by living your fucking life."

Grayson shook his head. "What's left for me, without you?"

"Loads of stuff, you idiot. Mom. Dad- who, by the way, had the balls to beat  _cancer_  and managed to stick around so he could live his life. Cameron. Jesus, the whole fucking world, Gray. Yeah, it will suck sometimes, and you'll miss me, but there's too much good stuff out there for you that you can't miss out on. A husband. Babies. All that shit. You're gonna have it."

"I'll never be able to love anyone like I love you," Grayson replied quietly. "Never."

"That was actually the cringiest thing you've ever said. But yeah, you're right. I'm irreplaceable. And no man is ever going to love you as much as I did- as much as I  _do_. But the love you'll get will be much more than most people get, because you deserve it. And the love you'll give will be enormous. Especially to little Jimson."

Grayson laughed despite the tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm not naming my son Jimson."

"It'll become popular, just you wait," Ethan said with a confident nod. "But in any case, after you've gotten and given all that good stuff, and you're old as fuck and you finally kick the bucket, I'll still be here, floating around, doing whatever dead people do. And then we'll float around together for literally the  _rest of eternity_. So don't miss me too much. You'll probably wish you were still living after the first eon dealing with me."

Grayson wiped his face. He couldn't believe it, but he was actually smiling. "So we'll be together again?"

"Duh. Remember when I said- or you said, who the fuck knows anymore- that there were no two closer people in the entire world than you and I? Well, that's true. You can confirm that kind of thing when you're dead. And that means that we'll always be together in the end."

Ethan pushed off the wall and sat back on the edge of the bed once again. And for the first time in a year, Grayson could look at Ethan's face without wanting to die. There was  _hope_. 

"Can I return to my floating confident that you won't off yourself? I don't think I'm allowed to visit every Sunday like you're my goddamn grandmother, so you'll have to pick up some of the emotional slack." 

"Are the other dead people as  _sensitive_  as you are?" Grayson asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or are you just special?"

Ethan grinned. "Fuck if I know. I tend to float on my own, just chillin by myself. Watching you. Not in a creepy way, or anything, don't worry. Don't worry about anything, actually. Not worth the time."

"I won't." Grayson took a deep breath, and he was amazed at how good it felt. To breathe. "I promise."

"Good," Ethan said. He looked at Grayson's alarm clock and stood up. "Looks like I've got to get going. Any longer sitting here and I may just upset the delicate balance of the universe by touching you. But before I go, I have to tell you a couple more things."

Ethan held up one finger. "One. You're not going to remember this dream, when you wake up. Just a safety precaution. Don't need you walking around telling people you talked to your dead brother."

He held up another finger. "Two.  When you do wake up, you should feel better. You won't know why, of course, but things will seem brighter. More peaceful. So take advantage of it, and take care of yourself."

He held up a third finger. "Three. Don't ride a fucking motorcycle in the rain. I think this one is fairly obvious, now, but it bears repeating. Although honestly, you'll probably never be able to  _look_  at a motorcycle again, let alone ride one. I'm sorry, Bud. I ruined it for you."

"Great," Grayson said drily. "It's not like there are motorcycles fucking  _everywhere_."

"Hey, I'm dead, get off my back. Anyway. Four. And you better not fucking laugh, because this mushy shit is actually the worst and I suck at it. Alright?" 

"Alright," Grayson agreed. 

"Gray, you were the best thing in my life, and you're the best thing in my death. And by the time you finally join me back here to float around, maybe I'll have found the words that accurately describe how much I love you."

Grayson felt joy, pure and simple, bloom in his heart. "I love you, too."

Ethan held up his palm. "And five. Name your kid Jimson. At least his middle name, for fuck's sake"

"Okay," Grayson said, his eyes shining. "I promise."

Ethan held out his hands, and Grayson could almost feel love, like heat, washing over him. "I have to go. You take care of yourself, and our family, and the family you'll make one day. Okay?"

"I will," Grayson promised. It was a promise he knew he could keep.

"See you later. Love you." 

\-------------------------------------------------------

Grayson woke up at ten, earlier than he had in weeks. And when he got out of bed, his limbs weren't heavy. 

He was light.


End file.
